Thursday, September 07, 2006

Childrens Wisdom 10

Children’s Wisdom - Rivals By A Mother Who Learned
Betty was four and Mike was two when we learned that children were competitors. For us this was the most serious period of jealousy and fighting. Mike, beginning to talk, was very cute and was picked up often into my arms. Betty was very jealous and sought to win my attention and affection by giving me pictures she had colored. Betty was quick to tell me when he wet his pants The children had their own play areas in the Living Room with a little desk and toys. Both of them had crayons, paper, color books and their own set of blocks different in color. Betty had “girl toys” dolls, clothes, and furniture. Mike’s trucks and cars ran into some of Betty’s things. Fusses developed as well as brief fights. Mummy repeated the words: “Play nice Play nice” many times. Betty designed situations to get Mummy to reprimand him. One day she had put together a carefully erected tower of blocks. Mike came over and knocked it down with feet and hands. Betty dissolved in tears: “Do I have to love him?” Ed and I decided to give the children one to ones with us. He would take Mike and I Betty with frequent changeovers. They loved this. I decided to give Betty a truck on her next birthday. This delighted her. They played together better with an occasional bumping. Another effort: I praised them when they were “playing nice” I told them also I believed they could settle their disputes. Some of the fights were loud but Mummy resisted doing anything. Then I praised them when the fight stopped. These techniques reduced the furors but did not eliminate them. They learned that peace was better than war and one battle was better than three. When Betty was sixteen, it was her turn to visit her Grandparents in Florida. I thought she was too old for this now, but she was quick to answer: “If I don’t go Mike will get to go.” As you see, no matter what age, they are always rivals.


Post a Comment

<< Home