Sunday, September 17, 2006

Positive Living 12

Positive Living - Apologizing
No matter how great the effort it is not possible for people to be perfect in their efforts to promote positives. There will be times when thoughtless words will come forth. Criticism is difficult to restrain when a person makes the same mistakes over and over again. There are often very difficult encounters with stubborn workmates who do not seem to listen to suggestions. Changing a teen’s mind is a trying task. They seem to want to degrade their parents. Children also can become very difficult. Many times the offended person of all ages attacks with very hurtful words. In these situations negative comments break forth even with serious efforts to restrain them. So many times there is a two way battle. When a person talks back, this makes it certain that the self-esteem has been hit. Sometimes there is silence but the person’s expression indicates the damage done. If an apology is not made, the emotions of the offended person will be upset for days. Every time the person sees the offender the old experience is triggered. An apology puts an end to this repetition of negative emotions and restores the relationship. The person who did the offending tends to have repeated pangs of conscience wishing that the unkind words had not been said. These conscience pangs keep disturbing the emotions. An “I’m sorry I was so thoughtless to make such an ugly comment” relieves the conscience and puts an end to these feelings. An apology tries also to include comments about the well liked traits of the offended person. Children’s feelings are hurt when their parents lose their cool and make comments which lower their self-esteem. The wound may last for days affecting the child’s appetite and sleep. A parental “I’m sorry” will go a long way in soothing the hurt experienced by the child. Apologizing is sometimes very difficult but it is an important part of positive living. Knowing how much it means and how much it does for both persons should it reduces emotional hurt leads us to make the effort.
Apologizing keeps wounded feelings from festering,restoring a strained relationship.


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