Positive Living 8
Positive Living - Tongue Control
In daily relationships there are situations when there is a feeling to tell people off. Sometimes there is a temptation to use even stronger words to tell them where to go. Frustration from other people’s actions or lack of actions trigger these feelings. It is thought that a few strong words will wake them up and get them to do better. Negative comments, however, do not usually result in permanent improvement in behavior. Degrading labels are very hurtful to a person. Loaded adjectives like: stupid, foolish, lazy, thoughtless, careless, mean, ugly, selfish target a person’s self-esteem. They create enduring feelings which are not easily dismissed. People store these comments in their memory and think about them often. Negative emotions continue to build up.This is especially true of children and teens, but most adults are sensitive to degrading comments from others.Judgments that are made may well be accurate and fully deserved, but for the sake of good relationships they better go unsaid. They make people nervous and emotional, interfering with effective work. They may lead to costly mistakes and affect a person’s disposition to the degree of unpleasantness. Negative comments are used often as a wake up call to try to get the person to improve. This approach fails more often than it succeeds. Caring parents are very aware that negative comments may lower their children’s self-esteem with long lasting effects, extending even to success in school work and increasing misbehavior and fighting. Negative feelings may well result in health problems like blood pressure increase, tension headaches, digestive disorders, elimination problems, and even sleeping difficulty. Controlling negative comments prevents emotional tensions from building up, preventing these health aggravations. A very important positive living principle is tongue control. Knowing how negative words affect people increases the effort to withhold words that hurt.
Use Tongue Control when temptations come to use ugly words.
In daily relationships there are situations when there is a feeling to tell people off. Sometimes there is a temptation to use even stronger words to tell them where to go. Frustration from other people’s actions or lack of actions trigger these feelings. It is thought that a few strong words will wake them up and get them to do better. Negative comments, however, do not usually result in permanent improvement in behavior. Degrading labels are very hurtful to a person. Loaded adjectives like: stupid, foolish, lazy, thoughtless, careless, mean, ugly, selfish target a person’s self-esteem. They create enduring feelings which are not easily dismissed. People store these comments in their memory and think about them often. Negative emotions continue to build up.This is especially true of children and teens, but most adults are sensitive to degrading comments from others.Judgments that are made may well be accurate and fully deserved, but for the sake of good relationships they better go unsaid. They make people nervous and emotional, interfering with effective work. They may lead to costly mistakes and affect a person’s disposition to the degree of unpleasantness. Negative comments are used often as a wake up call to try to get the person to improve. This approach fails more often than it succeeds. Caring parents are very aware that negative comments may lower their children’s self-esteem with long lasting effects, extending even to success in school work and increasing misbehavior and fighting. Negative feelings may well result in health problems like blood pressure increase, tension headaches, digestive disorders, elimination problems, and even sleeping difficulty. Controlling negative comments prevents emotional tensions from building up, preventing these health aggravations. A very important positive living principle is tongue control. Knowing how negative words affect people increases the effort to withhold words that hurt.
Use Tongue Control when temptations come to use ugly words.
posted by Dr. James F. Hubbard at 9:02 AM
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