Saturday, September 16, 2006

Positive Living 7

Positive Living - Promoting Peace
Positive living requires every effort to resolve issues. Differences in viewpoint are expected and disagreements are normal in every type of relationship. They cannot be avoided. Striving for peace seeks to diminish the negative feelings that arise from this area. Arguments can develop into real fights, bringing on long lasting hurt feelings. Bitter words are hurled with vehemence. Arising disagreements alert one to respond wisely. An effort is made to prevent a confrontation with a slow, measured reaction. Offense brings on defense. Snap judgments and quick attacks inflame the discussion. A mild response leaves the door open for further consideration. Recognizing the pending difficulty guides the exchange into a "friendly exchange." We must talk about this and think about it for a while. There are pros and cons to be discussed.” People value their ideas and want them to be considered. A private, personal get together is planned in a way that it is more like friend to friend than superior to inferior. There is a real effort to give the opposing idea a fair hearing. Questions are asked to gain understanding. There is more listening than talking. Even if the idea is not acceptable, the person has a good feeling about the discussion. Delaying the expressing of viewpoints until a full listening to the other person’s point of view keeps the discussion at a less warlike level. Pointing out the pros and the areas of agreement tends to reduce the intensity of the difference. Making a special effort to show some merit in the idea even if it cannot be fully accepted avoids harsh words. Caring seeks a compromise where each person must give in to some degree. If this is not possible, they agree to disagree using warm, friendly tones. Whenever the emotional level rises to the level of war, continuing the discussion is set for another day or another time. Relationships with children and teens need this same technique. Listening to these youngsters is so important to reduce the superior-inferior distance.
Striving for peace prevents long lasting wounds which do not easily heal.


Post a Comment

<< Home